January 7th, 2009
As a general social rule I understand that guys are expected to pay for the meals and such. But how long does this usually continue? And when should the girl start to offer, or should she always at least offer to pay for her half? I mean the guy I'm seeing is no better off than me income wise...but just in general I feel guilty over little things all the time. Like on our first date I found out that my meal was $1.50 more. I know its silly! But help me!!!! :D There actually is no longer a social "rule" that men are expected to pay for meals. This is 2008, not 1958. I think both partners should contribute on dates. However! As a courtesy (yes, courtesy, NOT a rule or expectation), it is nice if a man pays for the first, second, or even third date. It is also a nice courtesy if the woman turns the tables and does the paying.
If he is the type to be generous and offer to pay, stop feeling guilty. Some men are just like that. Offer to pay once in awhile and see what he says. If he insists, just say thank you for his kindness and let it go. I have a male friend that pays for dinner every time we go out and he rarely lets me chip in. Maybe a dollar for the tip but otherwise, nada.
Just be gracious and stop worrying about it. It's ok for you to pay your share, or just pay the tip, or not pay at all.If it's his idea to go eat then he understands that he should pay.
Once you are (if that happens) engaged you should share the cost of everything according to your percentage of household income. If you are like most people it will take everything that both of you earn to pay bills & possibly bulid a rainy day fund. So eating out will probably happen less & less out of necessity.
God bless you for having a conscience sounds like you have a lucky fella.
When I met my girl she was the same way & we've been married 6 years now.
Be careful not to be taken advantage of. There are plenty of guys looking for a FREE ride so if he allows you to pay make sure he pays his share.
I payed most of the time when we were dating, cause she was working & going to college, I was working full time & no school. Sometimes she left the tip though.if the guy has the money, then he probably really wants to pay because it will make him feel all macho and protective. paying for him will make him feel like a helpless damselle in distress. however, it is polite to offer to pay for yourself a few times, but trust me, you're doing the guy a favour sometimes when he pays for you ;)
ps, i usually have more money than my bf, but he pays for me xDi know how u feel lolI am the same as you. Ive never been able to let the guy pay cuz I felt guilty. Its considerate of you to be aware that your friend isnt any better off than you financially. If you can afford to pay half and it makes you feel better then insist! Otherwise pay for the next thing you do. I sometimes wonder if it scares the guy off though it the girl is too independent and wants to pay her way all the time. Its nice to help him pay but dont do it at the expense of him feeling like the "man" (if that makes sense). Good luck.a women should at least offer to pay her way a few times.
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Help, advice please! I feel guilty when a guy pays for me! ?
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